I don't think I've ever stepped into a gym - they won't let me smoke there. I just thank God Miller Lite isn't as fattening as most beers. If I cut back on beer, though, I'd look anorexic.

I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.

I was never able to have three of four beers. One's too many, and ten just ain't enough. Basically it's the way I've been since high school.

I hit the ball as hard as I can. If I can find it, I hit it again.

Life is nothing but a memory. People who dwell on the bad ones aren't going to have a whole lot of good ones coming up.

This fitness thing is blown out of proportion. What am I going to do on a treadmill - smoke a cigarette and drink a diet Coke?

There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I'd rather smoke, drink diet Cokes and eat.

I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

My slogan is who needs fitness when you've got great equipment.

I learned you can't drink whiskey and play golf.

Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.

Dig anywhere in the earth and you will find a treasure, only you must dig with the faith of a peasant.

Our attitude to people determines their attitude to us.

You have a great potential. Explore your special skills.

It is because we are all impostors that we endure each other. The man who does not consent to lie will see the earth shrink under his feet: we are biologically obliged to the false

Life is what's going on while your making other plans.

Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and I definitely have a hearty breakfast before I do anything.

History is bright and fiction dull with homely men who have charmed women.

You shouldn't have one opinion when you're running and another when you're president.

We are spinning our own fates, good or evil, never to be undone.