I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

To love is to recognize yourself in another.

I am not to be underestimated. Overestimated, maybe, but underestimated? No.

To teach, ignite the fire of desire to learn.

.....I don't think infinity is a limit.

The selection of a book-plate is such a serious matter.

I was never overexposed and work never became a chore. I was a very good girl wanting to do a good job.

Taxation: how the sheep are shorn.

The idea is to go from numbers to information to understanding.

Let us consider under what disadvantages Science has hitherto labored before we pronounce thus confidently on her progress.

Whatever affection we have for our friends or relations, the happiness of others never suffices for our own.