I don’t think television will ever be perfected until the viewer can press a button and cause whoever is on the screen’s head to explode.

A Madagascar Hissing Roach chasing Jerry Lewis. That would be a really neat treat.

Once you put yourself in the hands of the government, you could end up in Utah.

Life is one big minefield, and the only place that isn't a minefield is the place they make the mines.

Living well and ripping your enemy's still-beating heart out with your bare hands is the best revenge.

You only live once and, usually, not even then.

Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy.

Licorice is the liver of candy.

If there were a Mount Rushmore of American humor, Terry Southern would be the mountain they'd carve it from

The transformation scene, where man is becoming insect and insect has become at least man and beyond that - a flying, godlike, shimmering, diaphanous, beautiful creature.

Surely there must be a better gift God could have given us than life?

To wit, existence is communication and communication is existence.

Few great men could pass Personnel.

The Western democracy of today is the forerunner of Marxism which without it would not be thinkable. It provides this world plague with the culture in which its germs can spread.

Everybody in Hollywood was in Around the World in 80 Days. If you weren't, you left town and made up an excuse.

When I came to America Al Unser, Jr. was very difficult. And Bobby Unser.

The rose-garden world of perfection is a lie and a bore too!

When old men decided to barter young men for pride and profit, the transaction was called war.

[Documentary photography] is unwittingly literary, because it is nothing other than an observation of contemporary life apprehended at the right moment by an artist capable of seizing it. (1928)

Gratitude is what opens the spiritual doors to all the blessings. Everything becomes clear, you see, you feel, you live.

Big hooks have always been a part of American movie-making. So, to make a movie where you're just driving story through the characters without a high-concept is a challenge.