I don't think the problem is telling people you're on a diet. The problem is eating ice cream for breakfast.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

I know certain truths about life.

Real Fathers are men of integrity & honour. Their word is their bond.

Don't wonder why your time hasn't come yet. When you plant a seed, it always takes a while to grow. Don't be hasty. Think, plan, hustle.

Look at life all around; everything is growing, everything is moving forward. Therefore I recommend keeping in touch with life and with art.

No man ever flees from duty without incalculable hurt, not only to himself, but to others as well.

I find it quite hard to sum up my relationship in a sound bite. I feel that it trivializes it for other people's pleasure. It's an adventure.

He with a graceful pride, While his rider every hand survey'd, Sprung loose, and flew into an escapade; Not moving forward, yet with every bound Pressing, and seeming still to quit his ground.

The solution is to first create an integrated economic development and recreation plan that addresses the needs of the people who live and recreate in central Idaho.

I assume that if people get to know me, they'll like me. If they don't, it's not my problem.

No one has learned the meaning of living until he has surrendered his ego to the service of his fellow man. Service to others is akin to duty, the fulfillment of which brings true joy.