I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

It's always good to show that poetry isn't the little depressed lyric people believe it to be, that it's something bigger.

Building capacity dissolves differences. It irons out inequalities.

The seed of mortals broods o'er passing things, and hath nought surer than the smoke-cloud's shadow.

The back is like a frame, the front body, the painting that it throws into relief.

All discoveries in art and science result from an accumulation of errors.

I think all writers have a bit of genius in them, and a bit of talent. Genius retreats but talent improves.

I never leave a game before the last pitch, because in baseball, as in life and especially politics, you never know what will happen.

Sometimes, you get the bear. Sometimes, the bear gets you.

I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!