I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve it through not dying.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

If I had the knackI'd sing likeCherry flakes falling

When we attempt to exercise power or control over someone else, we cannot avoid giving that person the very same power or control over us.

To be clear... no one is above the law.

Vulnerability isn't a bad thing. Everyone's vulnerable and it only makes you human.

People always ask 'Why is Bubba different?' They're just trying to figure it out.

Consistency is the defense of a small mind

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

[Boris]Johnson, [Nigel] Farage, they are retro-nationalists, not patriots. Patriots don't abandon ship when the going gets tough. They stay on board.

I didn't make any money from my writing until much later. I published about 80 stories for nothing. I spent on literature.

Burn down the disco Hang the blessed D.J. Because the music that they constantly play It says nothing to me about my life