I don't want to be able to see the audience

My family comes first. Maybe that's what makes me different from other guys.

You're either sexy or you're not. I'm very self-conscious about my physiognomy.

Memories are like moonbeams; we do with them what we want.

I'm more married to Sandy now than when we were married with the legal document. We're still married as parents.

It isn't true that you live only once. You only die once. You live lots of times if you know how.

Any fool knows that bravado is always a cover-up for insecurity. That's the truth. And on that note, I'll say goodnight. God love you.

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

There is nothing wrong with being afraid - but there is nothing more wrong than allowing that to be your master.

I've got a dream lover, so I don't have to dream alone.

I'm a singer who moves like a dancer.

-You forgot something important!-What?-It's under my sweater!-WHAT?!-Me!

You have to be excited about your life.

What you fear most will determine whether you merely save for the future or give for the future.

We are the totality of what we consume, in every way possible.

Yes, I'm shallow, I don't mind admitting it. Perhaps I should admit that there's no end to the depths of my shallowness.

I think that civil rights issues take a lot of time to develop.

If you want to hurt me, fine. Take my books. Burn down my house. Shave my head while I am sleeping. But nobody, nobody screws with my dog.

If you feel tempted to use a picture of two hands shaking in front of a globe, put the pencil down, step away from the desk, and think about taking a vacation or investigating aromatherapy.

The innovator's motto is this: I succeed or I learn but I never fail.

After each perceived security crisis ended, the United States has remorsefully realized that the abrogation of civil liberties was unnecessary.