I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.

The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

I hate all sidekicks.

I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

Don't worry about getting perfect, just keep getting better.

You do well to have visions of a better life than of every day but it is the life of every day from which the elements of a better life must come.

I look good. I feel good and not to sound conceited I sound great.

Everything I thought I'd hate about having children - the crying, the screaming - nothing fazes me. I love it all and it's relaxed me.

Government cannot do everything, so we need to first decide what government ought to be doing, then figure out what it's capable of doing, and then follow the jobs we choose to completion.

Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it's the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down.

And it was a most remarkable, a most moving glance, as if for a moment a lighthouse had looked at me.

I don't dare start thinking in the morning. I don't dare start thinking in the morning. If I thought thoughts in bed, Them thoughts would bust my head-- So I don't dare start thinking in the morning.

I'm bad at picking heroes.

I'm not going to make it a target, but it's something to aim for.