I don't want to have a relationship with someone if I'm not going to work with them.

People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.

Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.

Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you've met and you're like, 'Yep, I like this one,' and you just do stuff with them.

I'm a nut, but not just a nut.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

You know how funerals are not for the dead, they’re for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they’re for the uncommitted.

You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.

The secret is to have a sense of yourself, your real self, your unique self. And not just once in a while, or once a day, but all through the day, the week and life.

Every brick being thrown at me I will use to build my Empire!

People who just float around in life without any direction will tell you that your dreams are not possible. Their knowledge is the perfect mirror of their results. Logic makes perfect sense.

Did I ever say an engagement was an elephant, madam?

The most striking characters are sometimes the product of an infinity of little accidents.

It is a strange paradox: Humans drown in the water, fish drown in the land.

The other day I started to take a course in psycho-ceramics. What is psycho-ceramics? It's the study of crackpots.

Don't let the sadness from the past and fear of the future ruin the happiness of the present.

If someone didn't want to be filmed, or my children said, "Don't film me anymore," [Steven Sebring] didn't try to sneak a shot or cajole them; he just respected their wishes.

The only thing we have power over in the universe is our own thoughts.

There is no greater love potion than regular coffee, brewed his own. When a man tries it, he was not going anywhere.