I don't want to say anything about my kids . . . but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Control is the inner disease of those who need stability and order to function.

I'm a misunderstood genius." "What's misunderstood?" "Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

I have proven to the world that I am articulate, I am very intelligent, I'm well exposed.

My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.

What test?" Asked Nudge. "Max, you're incorruptible." "Only by power." I said. "You haven't tried chocolate yet.

The thing about impressing your girlfriend is that when you do something like a private island in Fiji, it's all downhill from that point.

There are always survivors at a massacre. Among the victors, if nowhere else.

Conquer temptations by the patience and prayer. If you oppose them without these, you will fall all the more severely.

The time has come to accept in our hearts and minds that with freedom comes responsibility.

I publish things that in my judgment are good science.