I don't want to talk about myself, that's for other people to say, so I'm not saying I was so talented.

You, the actor, must be aware of when you're being funny, but the character you're playing should always be oblivious to the fact.

Nobody with a victim mentality will get anywhere. Ever. They will never succeed.

I feel lucky that I'm working at all. I don't take any job for granted. I enjoy this. It's all enjoyable for me. It's all part of it.

The problem with the economy isn't that people aren't paying their fair share of taxes.

I would love to have a part opposite a great actor - like, say, Pacino or De Niro or Hoffman. And to work with a top director. That's my dream.

My dad would always say, 'What can you do to make the world a better place?' Well, I can make people laugh.

If you build it, nerds will come.

I didn't take anything from anyone - first of all. Second of all, I opened a comedy club with money that I saved over 25 years. I created jobs.

Sometimes the best way to make 'em laugh is to show 'em how you honestly feel.

Apparently, I said what a lot of people are thinking and a lot of people have thanked me.

and what shall I have to dream of when I have been so happy in reality beside you!

Never miss day without a walk.

Computers have proved to be formidable chess players. In fact, they've beaten our top human chess champions.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

I was born trash in a land where the people all believe themselves natural aristocrats.

I used so much hairspray that I feel personally responsible for global warming!

You don't stay the hottest guy forever unless you're, um, Dionysus.

I've never done anything for money. My first love is things of limited commercial appeal. I could be happy doing Shakespeare for the rest of my life.

Everybody draws when they are little.

Titles are abolished; and the American Republic swarms with men claiming and bearing them.