I don't watch much television. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I don't know where The Daily Show stand politically, do you?

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Happiness and unhappiness are contagious.

Tax (reform) is ultimately a decision about values.

The whole difficulty of understanding Hell is that the thing to be understood is so nearly nothing.

I have a very steadfast tendency to parent myself, to monitor my development into the person I want to be. I've tried to keep the corruption minimal.

Reject racial or religious hate. Embrace moderate Islam

I think part of being a good coach is knowing how to extract the best from different people.

There's a right thing to do," Holden said. "You don't have a right thing, friend," Miller said. "You've got a whole plateful of maybe a little less wrong.

Folk Music Has Always Contained a Concern for the Human Condition.

Worship is the thank you that can't be silenced

I'd love to star in a television series of my own. I love the idea of living with a character for a number of years, watching him grow.