I don't watch my movies. I just get too critical of myself.

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.

If you're not happy without it, you'll never be happy with it.

Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh

Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.

I thought to myself, "Join the army!" It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds.

You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.

I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it.

I'm the one who has to look in the mirror, and after a while it begins to eat at you.

But I didn't even make you work for it. I just jumped you like a cat in heat.

Both believers and unbelievers go through temptations

Whited sepulchres which indeed appear beautiful outward but are within full of dead men's bones.

He who has never been deceived by a lie does not know the meaning of bliss.

I know it's a rare privilege, but if one can really tackle something in adult life that means that much to you, then it's more rewarding than anything I can imagine.

I’d rather be a cyborg than a goddess.

I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that, where I was flying, made what I was doing spying.

Wonderful teachers should never let themselves be drill sergeants for the state.

It is hard to overstate the debt we owe to the men and women of genius.