I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

You don't need to wait for inspiration to write. It's easier to be inspired while writing that while not writing...

I am a war president.

If weakness pervades the body, then it's mind we must strengthen

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Someone once told me that God figured that I was a pretty good juggler. I could keep a lot of balls in the air at one time. So He said, "Let's see if he can juggle another one."

Be the person that when your feet touch the floor in the morning the devil says, "awe s***.. they're up".

Do I really want to be integrated into a burning house?

Alan Smith... very much a striker, by reputation... and by fact

Democracy is not just voting every 5 years and watching 'Big Brother' in between and wondering why nothing happens. Democracy is what we do and say where we live and work

Spring is beautiful, and smells sweet. Spring is when you shake the curtains, and pound on the rugs, and take off your long underwear, and wash in all the corners.