I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Every student adheres to strict discipline

A simple act of kindness could be the source of great happiness.

You dare travel on the own sacred road.

If I were investing in oil and gas stocks, there is one question I would ask CEO's: What portion of your capital is going to have to go in to stay even

Widows, like ripe fruit, drop easily from their perch.

When I was growing up, my idea of Led Zeppelin was all epic lasers, castles, and ten-minute drum solos - that sort of thing.

Every expression of truth has in it the seeds of propagation, even as the sun cannot hide its light.

Eating is one of the most important aspects of living. I like indulging. I like to eat one food at a time, to savor each individual thing.

A lot of women don't know how to vent and deal with emotions.

Before, you were only a dream. Now you're a dream come true