I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Change has to come for life to struggle forward.

Luc Robitaille is a great kid and good player, but ask anybody on the street and they'd probably think Luc Robitaille is a type of salad dressing.

I don't like people who are in politics for themselves and not for others. You want that, you can go into show business.

The important thing is to bring people with Parkinson's into our world and for the public to have a real understanding of it, as they've beginning to have with autism.

The most fundamental and the most important aspect of the spiritual process can in no way be stopped by anybody - except yourself.

I think that's easier to read. Pardon me. Less difficult to read.

A planned life is a dead life.

Assists is what Earvin is all about. That's what my whole life has been, assisting others.

If you have had some taste of success, it's extremely addicting. I think the withdrawal from that is what's most devastating. I don't think it's the success that kills people, it's the withdrawal.

Why do they call it losing your virginity, anyway? It's Not Like I don't know where I left it." "You'd be surprised how many people don't.