I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged.

One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.

Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don't like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.

Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.

I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.

There is much enjoy in vengeance than love, and we humans already knew that.

With Quinn, safety wasn’t even an illusion. It was an impossibility

Wait." Clary was suddenly nervous. "The melted metal-it could be, like, toxic or something." Maia snorted. "I'm from New Jersey. I born in toxic sludge.

Get the best player because whether it's soccer or whether it's anything else the team with the best players wins. So focus your energy on getting the best and getting rid of the weakest.

The root of all desires is the one desire: to come home, to be at peace.

If I could just stay alive for a week, I’d know the unwritten secrets of Anna’s mom and the Dutch Tulip Guy.

If people had good albums, they'd be buying albums. But people are buying singles because they only have good songs.

A healthy dialogue is always good.

I was in the postseason twice and I'm thankful for that

I enjoy my time alone.