I drink to make other people interesting.

Criticism is the windows and chandeliers of art: it illuminates the enveloping darkness in which art might otherwise rest only vaguely discernible, and perhaps altogether unseen.

Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.

Love demands infinitely less than friendship.

Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness.

A man's wife is his compromise with the illusion of his first sweetheart.

Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man.

Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few.

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

Most Religions are Social Clubs with expensive Entertainment Cheap Wine and Stale Crackers

To dream on occasion is not dreaming, To love on occasion is not love.

I won't allow myself to have tremendous fear.

My mother was a huge influence on me. She was a living example of what a Christian should be. Her conviction, her discipline. She would rather see other people happy than herself.

I've always been me. I've always been very direct and have told the truth and have been very willing to stand up and speak out.

A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain. It can be and is often treasured by the recipient for life.

A coole mouth, and warme feet, live long.

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."

Choice by the people themselves is not generally distinguished for its wisdom.