I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Reality—there’s nothing but horror in that.

Literature is a mountain made of gold in this poor world!

Fame without Jesus Christ is a shame hereafter .

Every good thing that comes is accompanied by trouble.

If one is strong be also merciful, so that one's neighbors may respect one rather than fear one.

The meanings get lost and the teachings get tossed and you don't know what you're going to do next.

I have been in the business long enough to know what an intense amount of work it takes to operate a theater company.

Instead of seeing depression as a dysfunction, it is a functioning phenomenon. It stops you cold, sets you down, makes you damn miserable.

True contentment is not having everything, but in being satisfied with everything you have.