I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good at it.

My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.

I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.

People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them.

Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence; because if she doesn't have that, then she’s mine.

My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.

The world is full of horrible things that will eventually get you and everything you care about. Laughter is a universal way to lift your head up and say: 'Not today, you bastards.'

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.

You'll get my assault weapon when you pry it out of my curious six-year-old's cold dead hands.

I got an email from my ex, telling me that she has AIDS. I didn't know how to comfort her, so I just wrote back I know.

I've got a long history of suicid in my family; the good news is it skips a generation, so, if I'm lucky, my kids will kill themselves.

It has been said there was a cross in the heart of God long before the cross was erected at Calvary. As we think about it we will be overwhelmed at the wonder and greatness of His love for us.

My dream was always to be on the cover of 'Sports Illustrated.'

People are moving into modes of participation and self-generation, which apply to everything from museums and television to architecture.

No Fridolf, bother all this learning. I can't study anymore because I must climb the mast to see what kind of weather we're going to have tomorrow.

Forget Not: 1)to be patient with yourself. 2) the difference between good and foolish sacrifices. 3) to be happy NOW. 4) the 'why' of the gospel. 5) the Lord loves you.

I write about relationships and I try to create real-life characters.

The school depends not on man, or any set of men. God planted it, and we are but gardeners to take care of it.

The single biggest act of bravery or madness anyone can do is the act of change.

I understand that the legal position is under review in South Africa and that there will soon be a broader set of organizations to which donors can give and claim tax deductions.

To me it's very important to be a leader not a follower. Sometimes it takes balls and heart to do that. Sometimes it's not that east to say.