I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

I was always the last woman on the last down elevator as the store was closing.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessarily think of chairs.

The Captain of the Watch says if you're still in the City by sunrise he will personally have you buried alive.

Any food that requires enhancing by the use of chemical substances should in no way be considered a food.

I believe the biggest advancement in DJ culture is that DJs are being vocal and are a voice to raise the consciousness of the masses towards making our planet awaken from the hypnosis of the matrix.

If you're humble in defeat, everyone may still kick you, but they won't kick you as much.

Honesty of thought and speech and written word is a jewel, and they who curb prejudice and seek honorably to know and speak the truth are the only builders of a better life.

Young men do not want to have to take a consent form and a lawyer on a date, just as young women have every right to go on a date and to say 'No', having it respected.

When I was a kid, maybe 11, I remember saying, "When I grow up I wanna have enough money to buy a really cool car, because I won't."

Perhaps," said the man, "you would like to be lost with us. I have found it much more agreeable to be lost in the company of others.

Be a spot of ground where nothing is growing, where something might be planted, a seed, possibly, from the Absolute.

I may be the baby of the family, but that doesn't mean I don't get to boss people around.