I feel like comedy is doing well right now because there's so many avenues to be seen. Whether it's through the Internet with social media or web videos and now there's so many networks and TV shows.

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself.

When people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.

I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they're real.

I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, 'Why do you want to work at Starbucks?' Uh, because my life is in shambles.

I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.

I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns.

Don't thank the lord, I gave you that compliment... Thank me.

My nephew's always crying. I'm like, 'Dude, why are you crying? Your life is great. All you do is eat apple sauce and take dumps. That's your day.

I don't want to die before Will Smith 'cause then I miss that awesome 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' marathon.

Acting is fun; it's easier than writing, and if you get on a [TV] show, it draws people to your stand-up. That's ultimately what I'd like to do.

That I ever think for one minute that I should ever feel lonely is obscene and unreasonable.

Issue the orders, sir, and I will storm hell!

Man walks the moon but his soul remains riveted to earth. Once upon a time it was the opposite.

News as wholesome as the morning air.

In societies of low civilization, there is no money.

I found out that there weren't too many limitations, if I did it my way.

I am never bored; to be bored is an insult to one's self.

[Peace praxis is] a peace process that deals with conflict integratively.

I'm dense when it comes to discouragement.