I feel like dying when I'm helpless

If any of you cry at my funeral I'll never speak to you again.

If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.

I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led.

I had a dream I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

Humor is the truth wit is an exaggeration of the truth.

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

You can't break up with a soul mate.

A steadfast heart does not stray from the path.

Now I say that if you run more than 15 miles a week, it's for something other than aerobic fitness. Once you pass 15 miles, you do not see much further improvement.

I love the tradition of changing gowns throughout the reception. I know it's a little extravagant, but why not - it's your moment.

Love, in its own nature, demands the perfecting of the beloved.

The trouble with the British is that they are not interested in ideas. If Jesus came back today and offered to speak for an hour on British television, they would say, "What! Another talking head?

Reading good books implants good ideas in the mind, develops good aspirations, and leads to the cultivation of good friends.

Nothing on this planet is permanent, and this is why I believe there can be no such thing as possession.

If you want to be forgiven, you have to extend forgiveness, even to people who aren't smart enough to ask for it.