I feel today's society is so judgmental.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

It is good practice to never fault someone for their birth name, being that it is always of far greater importance how men speak of you, than the name by which you are addressed.

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

I got told I needed a producer I don't know how many times - maybe 27 times, 30? Then I recently got told 'I'm so proud of you.' That was even more great to hear.

What excites me is danger! I like to do daring things. I've bungee jumped three times. The only thing I haven't tried is skydiving.

Companies have a responsibility to train and retrain their employees.

Sometimes you must leave everything and refresh yourself in the silence of a misty lake! Every such refreshment will give you an opportunity to make a long jump on the way to your target!

When something feels real, you don’t make any apologies for it. When it feels good to you, nothing else matters. Everything else is just noise.

I admire the ambition of the project, and the generosity of many of the lines.

Since Jesus was human then he most assuredly farted and burped. And if God did create us in God's image then God must fart and burp as well.

If you walk with Jesus, he's gonna save your soul. You gotta keep the devil way down in the hole. He's got the fire and the fury at his command.