I feel your scorn, and I accept it.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Girls don't go to law school, " I told him."No, but women do.

They say the truth will set you free, but what they neglect to mention is what happens when the truth isn't what you want to hear.

Live and let live.Love thyself, in order to love thy man.Smart, independent women attract men.

I'll show Dunky he's not the only one in the family who can rush foolishly into danger!

Few have wished for memory so much as they have longed for forgetfulness.

Not childhood alone, but the young man till thirty, never feels practically that he is mortal.

But you were Mine. My child. And I would not give you up.

The secret in riding is to do only a few things but to do them right

Treating a person as a means to an end, and an end moreover which in this case is pleasure, the maximization of pleasure, will always stand in the way of love.

I've screwed up and I've overcommitted and it's typical of me.