I figure when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, then I've done my job.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

Law, without force, is impotent.

All you can do is all you can do... If all you can do, is still not good enough, then go do something else.

I thought cars were essential ingredients of life itself.

This is my father. Try what you can with him! He won't listen to me, because he remembers what a fool I was when I was a baby.

Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other.

The meaning of conservatism is not that it impedes movement forward and upward, but that it impedes movement backwards and downwards—to chaotic darkness and the return to a primitive state.

Why not go down the pub? A guy once came up to me at a gig and asked me if I had MySpace. I said, 'This is my space, and you're invading it.'

The inclination to aggression constitutes the greatest impediment to civilization.

I've got my kids brainwashed: You don't use Google, and you don't use an iPod.

As an actress I really like exploring and doing new experiences.