I find human contact repulsive.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

We all deserve to have a relationship with God

There's too much down time making movies. That leads to boredom. And that leads to trouble.

In America we need members of the Latino community to come to the Tea Party movement and enrich the Tea Party.

Who's your fat friend ?

I have two sons, ages 38 and 25 in Texas, and my wife and seven year old daughter here in Nashville. On New Year's I'd rather be with them.

When distrust exists between governments, when there is a danger of war, they will not be willing to disarm even when logic indicates that disarmament would not affect military security at all.

A lover fears all that he believes.

Reason will by degrees submit to absurdity, as the eye is in time accommodated to darkness.

Spelling is improved when reading is done.

I have English family in Northhampton and have been to England numerous times.