I find it hard to believe that human beings are the crowning achievement of life on earth. Something better than us has to come along.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

And The Monster Said "Pity The Broken Child As In You Pity The Insane

Kill the body and the head will die.

Poets are the sense, philosophers­­ the intelligence­­ of humanity.

If you in the morning Throw minutes away, You can't pick them up In the course of a day. You may hurry and scurry, And flurry and worry, You've lost them forever, Forever and aye.

As quickly as you start spending federal money in large amounts, it looks like free money.

Justice limps along, but gets there all the same.

Life is short. But desire, desire is long.

Guys would hang out in groups just to be with the music.

Our actions are in our own hands, but the consequences of them are not. Remember that, my dear, and think twice before you do anything.

We are all of us invented. We are all of us cobbled together from cartilage and dust. Few of us know with certainty the name of our maker. But I do... Bram Stoker.