I find it hard to get enthusiastic about hotels because, as a touring comic, I spend a lot of time in them.

I don't mind not being cool; I wear a cardigan.

If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.

I went to China for a brief working visit, and I thought that Shanghai was interesting, but Beijing totally grabbed me.

I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.

Christians, you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules! Either stick to them or abandon the faith.

I have learnt that I am incapable of packing the right amount of clothing, probably because I start 10 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, and that I truly hate airports.

I find myself by default an atheist but fairly unhappily so. It would be bloody marvelous if there was a god.

I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.

My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.

If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

The difference in the quality of life between people can be found in the quality of the questions they ask themselves

I see, eye see, what my heart feels, soul knows. In flowing sound and glowing scenes, I touch the living dream.

Kindness is the universal language of pure love, so let us express ourselves with kindness.

A person who has been punished is not thereby simply less inclined to behave in a given way; at best, he learns how to avoid punishment.

The notion that somehow as a consequence of me knowing somebody who engaged in detestable acts 40 years ago, when I was 8 years old, somehow reflects on me and my values doesn't make much sense.

You will never know how sharp a sword is unless it's drawn from its sheath

I have come a hundred miles," said a minister, "to get some of Mr. Moody's spirit." " You don't want my spirit," was the reply. "What you want is the Spirit of God.

Life will give you what you ask of here if only you ask long enough and plainly enough.

News is something somebody doesn't want printed; all else is advertising.

Preacher is an instrument of compassion, not an instrument of wrath.