I find it hard to say, because when I was there it seemed to be shut.

Breakfast is a notoriously difficult meal to serve with a flourish.

To barbecue is a way of life rather than a desirable method of cooking.

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

Owning a racehorse is probably the most expensive way of getting on to a racecourse for nothing.

If anyone tells me I'm fat, I say, - That's because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit

I've known Nicholas Parsons for a fairly long time and his geniune pleasures are in rubber tubes, metal clips

There's no law that decrees when not to whinge, but you reach a certain age - 80 seems about right - when you're expected to manifest querulousness - the coffee's too hot, the boiled egg's too soft.

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men.

I was going to talk about Nicholas Parsons' ignorance, but 18 seconds would be a wholly insufficient time.

Congealed fat is pretty much the same, irrespective of the delicacy around which it is concealed.

Sometimes the steepest, most challenging and most rewarding paths in life are not meant to be walked, but crawled.

I Cannot Remember You...engulfed in liquid amnesiaI cannot fight the tide

There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste.

Look, moonI turned silver for you.

Maybe the world would be better if people didn't hate so much and kill animals.

I loved writing for kids, I loved talking to children about what I'd written, I don't want to leave that behind.

Contend not in wisdom with a fool, for thy sense maketh much of his conceit; And some errors never would have thriven, had it not been for learned refutation.

Our Lord insists on the social aspect of our lives: He shows very distinctly that we cannot further ourselves alone.

Only white men have the luxury of ignoring race.

I love the English. My God, they brought us 'Benny Hill,' 'Monty Python,' 'The Office,' Neville Chamberlain.