I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest. And that's why it feels like we are polarized.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

Learn to recognize good luck when it's waving at you, hoping to get your attention.

Sometimes people are shocked by what I do, but I'm not trying to be liked, I speak my mind and I don't care what people think. I truly do not compromise on who I am.

History proved many times that path of millions was often the wrong path!

Then I thought, "No, I broke it myself. I broke it on purpose to pay myself back for being such a heel.

People call me a socialist sometimes. But, no, you gotta meet real socialists. You'll have a sense of what a socialist is.

The best work usually meets the strongest opposition.

I genuinely hit puberty before everyone.

I'm such a goody two-shoes, I've never stolen a single thing. I would not be able to handle it. I would not be able to live with the guilt of having stolen something.

I say love, and the world populates itself with doves.

The guitar is the coolest instrument in the world.