I find the earth to be a place of misery in which I am surrounded by the conformity that kills society.

I believe that laughter is the best emotional Band-Aid in the world. It's like nature's Neosporin.

Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

As an actor, the biggest compliment you can get, in my book is for someone to believe that you're the character.

My favorite character on Friends was Joey, because we're both actors. I always thought that was so cool.

The phone's not ringing off the hook, but that's ok by me. I feel very fortunate, work to me has become a kind of hobby.

You can't be funny if you don't have good material.

A true gentleman doesn’t prefer blondes. A true gentleman doesn’t have any preferences whatsoever.

Work to me has become kind of a hobby. I was a part of something that gave me financial independence and the rent is paid. Now it's just about projects that turn me on.

I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up.

When there's writing that you really trust, it's very freeing as an artist.

When your mind doesn't stir inside, the world doesn't arise outside. When the world and the mind are both transparent, this is true vision. And such understanding is true understanding.

I always say, keep the oil. I said don't go in, but I said keep the oil.

Trust that things will be okay - especially if you put in the time and effort to make them be okay.

Jealousy is the tribute which mediocrity pays to genius.

Love that stammers, that stutters, is apt to be the love that loves best.

I wish people would stop talking about my birthday.

This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal.

Press on! A better fate awaits thee.

A clever, ugly man every now and then is successful with the ladies, but a handsome fool is irresistible.