I find the universe so staggering that I just don't have any faith in my ability to grasp it.

The function of law and theology are the same: to keep the poor from taking back by violence what the rich have stolen by cunning.

The fear of death is the beginning of slavery.

You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of those people as yourself and your friends.

You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.

In conlusion, there is no conclusion. Things will go on as they always have, getting weirder all the time.

The rapists of the intellectual world become politicians; the seducers become artists.

Philadelphia merely seems dull because it's next to exciting Camden, New Jersey.

Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.

History, sociology, economics, psychology et al. confirmed Joyce's view of Everyman as victim.

My own opinion is that belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.

Wrong. Enemies don't fight with such determined passion. That kind of focus is reserved for friends at odds with one another."pg 69 Tomas to Vlad

Erudition is the crude residue of wilted harvests

Rapture is costly

Whole phases of comedy have become empty; the comic rejoinder has become every man's tool.

A pauper in the midst of wealth.

Predict the inevitable", she said, "and you're bound to be right one day.

I don't really work out. I eat a lot of sweets. I have chocolate all over my house.

My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes

Use me, God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself.

I was born poor, I have lived poor, I wish to die poor.