I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you.

I often sit back and think, I wish I'd done that, and find out later that I already have.

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

I swim in a pool of my own neurosis. I carry love, grief deeply, like an Irishman.

I don't drink because I have problems or I want to escape. I just love drinking and being drunk.

LOL has turned into something you type when you have nothing better to add into a conversation.

When a man sees his end, he wants to know there was some purpose to his life.

I turned Hamlet down because it was going to take up too much of my drinking time.

There was a dream that was Rome. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish, it was so fragile.

Probably the most distinctive characteristic of the successful politician is selective cowardice.

Knight without fear and without reproach.

Train your mind to see the opportunity in every adversity.

As I mentioned earlier, women get mixed messages in childhood: You can do anything you want... but it wouldn't hurt to find someone who will take good care of you.

When I'm engaged in a story my health is not a big deal, but when I'm not doing anything, if you sit me down, I can get tied up in my own medical dramas. So I much prefer to work.

Don't worry about what you do not understand... Worry about what you do understand in the Bible, but do not live by.

Yet earth has never child she may not slay, Nor sea a lover that she cannot kill.

Nature is an expert in cost-benefit analysis,' she says. 'Although she does her accounting a little differently. As for debts, she always collects in the long run.

Do you wanna leave soon? No, I want enough time to be in love with everything... And I cry because everything is so beautiful and so short.

Keep in mind that the Iraqis are not telling us anything we don't already know or can't prove. This is what makes this whole inspection process and all the rigmarole surrounding it a total farce.

There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

I do wait in line, and I do take the subway, and I do my own grocery shopping, and I do take the kids to school. But it almost doesn't matter to a certain segment of the populace.