I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country; people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

How many times have I told you not to believe everything you hear? Seek truth for yourself.

Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn't mean you have to attend the performance.

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

All of those art-based fields are similar in that they're all hard to make a living in and they all require an intense amount of training and discipline.

I do want to direct a movie from horseback one day.

Americans are sick and tired of political gamesmanship.

Living movements do not come out of committees.

You measure a church's strength, not by its seating capacity but by its sending capacity.

Consciously or unconsciously, we are all striving for perfection. Every being must attain to it.