I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?' If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Ideas and not battles mark the forward progress of mankind.

I deserve more. I mean I understand I do. Once you’ve protected someone the way you protected me, you get… well, protective. But I’m no longer that sixteen-year-old girl, Archer. I’m a grown woman.

True change is within

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

Instrumental music can spread the international language.

We're about to see an acceleration in technological platforms that, for marketers, will be on a scale rivalled only by the arrival of color TV.

There aren't many people in our history who have so completely surrendered themselves to a mission that they would give up their lives for it.

We are able to help animals all around the world as a result of the media and entertainment business, which is able to spread compassion and change at rapid speed.

I consider myself to be first and foremost a comic writer. The way I entertain myself - especially in those long and grim hours in the office - is to write stuff I find funny.

Start from the bottom up.