I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Give people films, they will forget after a few weeks, but give people ideas, they will assimilate them into their consciousness.

Education can provide bread and training can provide butter for the bread – that is going to soften from inside to help in looking at the perspective, change behavior and change perception

A wise person is able to bring down a thousand armies with a single insight

Acting is what I love. I love being the chameleon, and you can't do that if you have just one physical type.

Being honest about where you come from and what your story is is the only way to connect to other people, to really connect with them.

We are questioning more than the philosophy behind our dependence upon limited and limiting systems. We question the power structures that have grown up around such systems.

Nothing someone says before the word 'but' really counts.

Nothing goes by luck in composition. It allows of no tricks. The best you can write will be the best you are.

I feel like love is the thing we were created for, yet it's the place we struggle the most.

Those officers and men who were immediately under my observation, evinced the greatest gallantry, and I have no doubt that all others conducted themselves as became American officers and seamen.