I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.

It was the ideal place where people call ‘home.

When God plans to bless a man, he takes this poor time-cursed creature into His hand and says., My son, I breath into you eternity and immortality.

Ill natures, the more you aske them, the more they stick.

Computers are like humans - they do everything except think.

If you are after truth, let your shadow be the only shadow around you! Stay away from the crowds!

It is certain that most who concentrate upon achievement miss life.

Integrity: A name is the blueprint of the thing we call character. You ask, What's in a name? I answer, Just about everything you do.

The Day We Let Our Convictions Define Our Life Rather Than Our Insecurities, Our True Journey Begins.

A friendship will be young after the lapse of half a century; a passion is old at the end of three months.

Prayer is not a way of making use of God; prayer is a way of offering ourselves to God in order that He should be able to make use of us.