I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get to say the things I want to say and comment on.

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting.

Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.

Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.

Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.

When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.

We're truly alive when facing the prospect of our own mortality, if you convince yourself that you'll live forever, you'll never really have lived at all.

I will make action movies, I think, for a few more years, another five years.

My parents always felt if I worked hard enough I could make any dream come true.

I'll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.

I think women want to feel beautiful. They want to feel seductive.

Inertia, when first encountered, appears to be an immovable force. We are creatures who like comfort, patterns, and repetition... Yet change is life's only constant.

For me, clothes are about individuality. When I wear things that are different and it works, it makes me feel good.

The world and life have been mighty good to me. And I want to put something back.

Nearly everyone will lie to you, given the right circumstances.

Mankind's common instinct for reality has always held the world to be essentially a theatre for heroism.