I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

I feel like we can do something really cool to this world. And I fear - at twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five - we might forget.

Create or attract through focused desire the things you wish for in life.

To find the Father of all is hard. And when found, it is impossible to utter Him.

Politics are very much like war. We may even have to use poison gas at times.

There could be no honor in a sure success, but much might be wrested from a sure defeat.

Interspersed in lawn and opening glades, Thin trees arise that shun each others' shades.

The value of teaching without words and accomplishing without action is understood by few in the world.

Honestly every day had huge challenges. I remember one day coming home and running a bath and going, "You don't know how to act, do you?" It was the most humbling experience ever.

We can know a lot. And still, no doubt, there are rash and wonderful ideas brewing somewhere; there are many surprises yet to come.

Well, I think everyone struggles with self-love.