I go to sleep thinking about my kids being spoiled and I wake up thinking about it.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

This is a trust that you just cannot find in modern society for there are no conditions to forge it.

It’s my belief that animals can help a human being travel to the wounds of childhood. The best part is, once you go there, you can fix things. Get on with life.

Putting affects the nerves more than anything. I would actually get nauseated over three-footers.

People are not homeless if they're sleeping in the streets of their own hometowns.

As for health, consider yourself well.

If your habits don't line up with your dream, then you need to either change your habits or change your dream

When we finish a book, why do we hold it in both hands and gaze at it as if it were somehow alive?

I'd like mostly stuff for design, because I like to design clothing.

What really matters is not whether we have problems, but how we go through them. We must keep going on to make it through whatever we are facing.

I'm not very precious at all, which I think people find surprising.