I got a safe full of cherries 'cause I pop it and lock it.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

In every little boy child is hidden a great man

I have lost tolerance for things without meaning. There is no time for them. Does that make sense? - Sara Seager

The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children.

Man loves little and often woman much and rarely.

I am fully equipped for the Divine Plan of my life.

The atmosphere of orthodoxy is always damaging to prose, and above all it is completely ruinous to the novel, the most anarchical of all forms of literature.

Religious and racial persecution is moronic at all times, perhaps the most idiotic of human stupidities.

The best criticism is the sort that tells you what you already know but had been reluctant to accuse yourself of.

When you're the absolute best, you get hated on the most.

But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel, when the right people stay at home?