I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

— Why did blondes vote for Clinton? — They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious!

A Bond movie falls into a specific genre, and you have to provide certain elements. You must respect the fact it's essentially about girls, guns, gadgets, and big action.

Of all human activities, man's listening to God is the supreme act of his reasoning and will.

There is a great deal of hard lying in the world; especially among people whose characters are above suspicion.

It is among the less privileged groups relatively new to leisure and consumption that the zest for possessions retains something of its pristine energy.

When I began to read as an adult, my first big enthusiasm was Evelyn Waugh. I read almost exclusively novelists of a generation back. I did the Russians, then I started getting more up to date.

That customer service representative is crazy, if he think I am going to pay that bill.

The ideal pre-show meal I think is pho, the Vietnamese soup. It's very light and good for you, and then the broth is great for the throat.

As well as being one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, schizophrenia can also be one of the richest learning and humanizing experiences life offers.

You are not feeling empty because you don't have much money. You are feeling empty because you have not yet encountered your real self, you have not come to your authentic individuality.