I got locked into a tradition [at Cambridge] of doing comedy.

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

Speed of love is measured in blushes per hour.

We gain the strength of the temptation we resist.

If I finance a bank and I know if the bank will get in trouble, I will be hit and I will lose money, I will put a price on that.

But as a writer and performer, I want to get paid for what I do.

Don't we introduce time as a means of becoming more evolved? The brain has evolved but is there evolution inwardly? Can the brain dominated by time not be subservient to it?

I think that maybe people comment on the internet because they never know if they're going to be able to meet that one person and they want to have a say so, or what have-you.

Working 14 hours a day until you're 55 and missing your kids growing up is not what I would consider a recipe for happiness.

All religions, they play football - even nowadays all girls and women have the right to play football in cultures like the Arabic countries in the Muslim they play football.

Even if I'm in Japan and I don't speak Japanese and the woman facing me doesn't speak French but she's dressed in Rykiel, and she recognizes me, then we have a common language right away.

When you photograph people in color you photograph their clothes. When you photograph people in black and white, you photograph their soul!