I got my first laugh when my mother entered me in a baby contest.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Perfection of this human life happens when we take the responsibility to be and act as authentic Leaders in every life situation.

Words spoken today that are not needed now must be kept till they will be needed

I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan.

Being an entrepreneur means the ability to think out of the box by putting away our fear of any risk, including financial.

The idea of starting with that Kanye [West] song is declarative. It says, "This is the kind of story we're telling."

I'm twice as old, but I feel good.

You cannot kill an idea by murdering innocent people — though you can nudge it toward suicide.

In the school of the spirit, man learns wisdom through humility.

The Reform Bill has destroyed the ancient conduits and strainers, and brings Public Opinion to act upon the government with the rapid, turbulent, and uncertain violence of a flood!

Animation offers a medium of story telling and visual entertainment which can bring pleasure and information to people of all ages everywhere in the world.