I got out of the tub and had to squelch a scream when I saw my reflection in the vanity mirror. My hair looked like it had taken 2000 volts and been spray starched

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

I have decided on my destiny

We tossed away the horror formula right from the beginning.

You can do things. Do you know this?Do you believe it?You should.It’s true.You can do great things.

sometimes words are not big enough to contain all the feelings you are trying to pour into them.

My worst day is still a really good day. I complain, but I catch myself and count my blessings. I am truly blessed.

Writers are liars my dear, surely you know that by now?

It is not who you know it is what you know - If you don't know anything, you won't know anyone

I swear if you cry, I'll kill you here and now.' Cinna just smiles. 'Had a damp morning?' 'You could wring me out.' I reply

I will make you love physics and your life will never be the same.