I grew up cursing a lot. It felt natural. My parents told me to stop.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

Beauty has its own vices.

The untrue things don’t deserve to be respected!

You were once wild here. Don't let them tame you!

No matter how bad any situation, cynicism has no positive impact. Watching the news, you might notice that cynicism and victimhood often seem to go hand-in-hand, but not for veterans.

Hitchcock is the most-daring avant-garde film-maker in America today.

Golf is a lot like life. When you make a decision, stick with it.

A child cannot pay for its mother’s milk.

Realizing your potential as a leader is your responsibility.

We have the means of evangelizing our country, but they are slumbering in the pews of our churches.

As Regis Mckenna once said, the best marketing is education