I grew up not having a father. Golf is the father I never had. It taught me honesty and respect and discipline and it taught me to control my temperament.

I didn't come from a background where I saw a lot of loving couples. All my aunts and uncles were either split up or fighting all the time. The only healthy relationships I saw were on TV.

When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself.

It's not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it's just a great time to be able to pull all that together.

No particular race is the enemy. Ignorance is the enemy.

When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.

It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.

I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

A pessimist? A man who thinks everybody as nasty as himself and hates them for it.

We do not remember days we remember moments.

No phone. No pool. No pets. No cigarettes. Ultimate freedom... No longer to be poisoned by civilization, he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become Lost in the Wild.

I like generals. I think generals are terrific. You know, they go through schools and sort of end up at the top of the pyramid. And it's like a test.

A third heir seldom enjoys what has been dishonestly acquired.

You are amazing. A true light warrior and this world certainly needs you.

There has to be something wrong when a man or a woman leaves his own people and marries somebody of another kind.

I used to say to myself, 'What the devil have you got to be proud about, Marilyn Monroe?' And I'd answer, 'Everything, everything,' and I'd walk slowly and turn my head slowly as if I were a queen.

A lot of journalists give me a hard time about how I look, but I've never met a journalist I'd rather look like.

Ignore what a man desires and you ignore the very source of his power.