I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

The pen against ignorance, the blood against knowledge, the murder against liberalism. Let to the enemy to live into its foolishness. This would be the best weapon against him.

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first divorced me and the second won't.

Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.

One thing that fiction does is it allows us to take big picture questions, big issues, big moral and socio-political changes and see how they play out on real people's lives, with real individuals.

Books are the legacies that a great genius leaves to mankind

If you pay attention to good critics, you have to listen to the bad. So you have to ignore them all really. You can't just cherry pick the glowing ones.

God's justice, tardy though it prove perchance, Rests never on the track until it reach Delinquency.

The whole faculties of man must be exerted in order to call forth noble energies; and he who is not earnestly sincere lives in but half his being, self-mutilated, self-paralyzed.

In the Wu Tzu it says: 'He who would save his life shall lose it, and he who would give up his life shall save it.'

A Devil, a born Devil on whose nature, nurture can never stick, on whom my pain, humanly taken, all lost, quite lost.