I guess I considered myself just sort of a sketch comedian, you know? Actual screenwriting hadn't really occurred to me as a viable job - I didn't really know anything about it.

The more people's money you take to do something, the more inputs you get.

Yes, I am complimented on my work in Kids in the Hall once or twice a week. Its a nice feeling.

I feel like I'm the most well-adjusted character on the show, even though I'm sure the other actors would tell you the same thing about their characters.

That's the other thing about working on movies, the commitment is years. That's one thing that's so frustrating about the process is that it goes on and on and on for years.

If you just want to be a writer, I don't care, for pitching, for writing dialogue, you should take an improvisation class. It's super important.

The first record I bought with my own money was Rio.

I'm always doing what I can to look for and just feel out funny things that are happening in the scene and improvise off of them.

People love that monkey torture.

If you're a studio writer, the funny better be on the page.

Writing studio movies is the best job in the world... it's awesome.

The heart makes its choices without weighing the consequences. It doesn't look ahead to the lonely nights that follow.

Life is real, not ideal.

Instead of hating, I have chosen to forgive and spend all of my positive energy on changing the world.

If somebody crafts an interesting tweet that’ll lead me to their blog, I’m going to their blog.

Desire is the very essence of man

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

I've tried every kind of bottled water, but Poland Spring is my go-to. I always have room-temperature bottles of it on side of stage for post-performance.

Besides, nowadays, almost all capable people are terribly afraid of being ridiculous, and are miserable because of it.

The bedfellows politics made are never strange. It only seems that way to those who have not watched the courtship.

You make a new life by making new choices.